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My Baby Is No Longer A Baby

This week my Baby Girl has graduated out of the babies room and into the toddlers room.

This was an extremely easy transition for her. She had a few settling in days, bonded with her new key worker and that was it. On Monday I dropped her off in her new surroundings. She gave me a kiss and cuddle goodbye and went to mix with her new friends. When I picked her up at the end of the day I was told that she had done amazingly well and it was like she had always been there.

I've been proud as punch. I love that her little character embraces change, loves mingling with new friends and seems to just roll with whatever new situations are thrown her way with confidence and independence.


I know I speak on behalf of the majority of parents out there when I say sometimes, no matter how proud I am of my baby's development, I just want to wrap her up in cotton wool, hold her, never let her out of my grasp and never let her grow up from being a baby.

It's not just the toddler room progression that brings on these feelings. Recently I've noticed that she really has lost her baby look. I see a little girl standing in front of me. She needs me less and less these days. She doesn't want me to help feed her, she doesn't want help going up or down the stairs. She's even been trying to change her own nappy!

I have such happy memories of the very early days where it felt like the world had stopped. Nights muddled into days. Sleep was rare but it was me and my girl. My innocent baby that was completely dependant on me and gave me cuddles whenever I would want. Sometimes we would cuddle all day and we would look at each other, staring into each others eyes. No words but the best and most pure form of communication I've ever experienced.


What a difference 18 months make! I'm totally conflicted with two very strong emotions. Being so proud of the little person my daughter is becoming and at the same time, almost grieving the baby that I feel is getting further and further from my reach.

I don't know what the answer is. I suspect I will feel this way for the majority of her life as she progresses each next stage. And since I've become a parent I love more, hurt more, worry more, laugh more and I feel pride as I've never felt before. Emotions are high!


I guess this is what I signed up for when I became the mother of this amazing little girl and as hard as it is with the feeling of letting my baby go. I am going to try my very hardest to focus on my pride and encourage her to continue to develop and live a life full of amazingness.


Anyone else feel as conflicted as me watching your children grow?

Kat x

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11 comments

  1. Yes totally Blake at 16 months is growing up so fast and learning new things but I do miss the new born days and him being teeny tiny.

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  2. She does look like a little girl on the last photo. It's bittersweet isn't it? My daughter is five now, but I still look at her and wonder, what on earth happened to my baby? Dean of Little Steps

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  3. My youngest is almost 3 and although he will always be my baby, he is far from it now

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  4. I have 3 children and it is hard watching them grow up as it's not nice when they don't want cuddles with mummy infront of everyone.

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  5. I think it is ok to mourn the loss of the baby she once was but at the same time celebrate the girl she is becoming. The bond as a new mother is beautiful.

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  6. Oh bless her, she is totally adorable and I have hair envy x

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  7. Yes totally! My boy is 4 at the end of this month and girl 18 months old although both are still very much cuddly they are still growing up. It goes to fast! Marie ☺

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  8. I remember feeling like this about my son too, being so happy that he was growing but equally so sad that he was no longer my little baby. I don't think the conflict ever ends as they just keep growing and being more and more independent.

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  9. Yes! It's almost like mourning what your child was. I get so excited when William learns something new or I feel like he's progressed, but then I'll look at younger children and miss what he once was so much. I want to save and savour everything but then I have to remind myself he's not going anywhere he's just an older version of himself. It's so hard! Lol x

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    Replies
    1. So very true! I think this will be a constant life dilemma. We just have to remember how blessed we are to have these little people and they have to grow up so the tables can turn and they can look after us when we're old and grey x

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  10. Our 'baby' of the family is 18 months, and just recently she has taken a huge liking to playing with dolls. So funny seeing that she is turning into a little girls before our eyes. And what a character she is too. The pictures of your daughter in this post are beautiful, cherish it all!
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

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