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I'm A 'Bad Mom' And I'm Actually OK With That

This week I went to the movies with two of my most favourite mummy friends and we watched Bad Moms. We booked a late night session so we could do bed time with the kiddos before we snuck out. Even though that was the sensible route, part of me still felt like a rebel, stepping out of the house at 9pm on a Monday evening. I can't remember the last time I did that. It was another lifetime ago.

So I'm not about to even try and be a movie critique. Actually I think this was the first movie I've seen in 4 years, so a movie buff is something I'm not. However this was such a brilliant movie and 4 days on I'm still thinking about it, and as the blog is the place I come to share my thoughts, well, here  I am :)




Firstly, if you're a mum and you haven't seen this movie. Please, please, please make plans to go and see it. It will change your life, or out least your outlook.

I don't want to give too much away about the movie but I wanted to talk about the message. If you were here last week, you would know that I have come to terms with the fact that I'm not the supermum I thought I would be. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way because so many of you told me how much that post resonated with you. Watching Bad Moms made me feel even better about my own failings not only as the supermum I thought I should be, but about every day life.

Let me share with you, some of the ins and outs of my Monday. I'm not exaggerating any of this and I couldn't make it up if I tried.

Today is an important day in the office, I really should look the part. Let me try and make an effort with my make up this morning.

Baby girl, don't open that drawer, not that one either, please don't take that out of there, don't tip out the nail polish box - I've just cleared the floor, yes close that drawer please sweetheart, there's a good girl. OMG how did you open that Vicks and get your hand in it? DO NOT EMPTY THAT DRAWER!

I have used my harsh voice and threatened time out before 8.30am, meanwhile my bedroom floor looks like a scene from World War III and I've barely got more than a crooked wing and patchy highlighter round my face.

Get to nursery, pop her bag on her hook. Instant mum guilt as I realise I've left Baby Girl's sun hat at home and I know it's going to be 25 + degree day.



Practically fall into the office door after rushing from the car. I've back to back meetings in the office and my brain is not quite fully invested in the meetings I'm taking part in. It's giving my hourly reminders that my daughter is probably playing outside with no sunhat on. GUILT!

I come out of my 3.30pm meeting and I've had 3 missed calls from her nursery. Panic!!! No mother wants missed calls from their child's nursery when they're there, but 3 in a row? EEEEK! 

Ok, she has a temperature, could they give calpol? Yes, please look after my baby. Please let me know if her temp goes down in 10 minutes. I'm faced with the dreaded work/ home pull.

Do I ditch my 4.00pm meeting and go running to my baby? If I'm not at this meeting some things might not get done, I really need to be there....

I get another call from the nursery at 3.55pm. Her temp has gone up - I'm there! Give me 5 minutes!

Run around the office like a mad woman, letting people know I won't be at said meeting and giving them everything they need and jump in the car.

It's like a speed race to get to the nursery. Only problem is that there is a water pipe burst on a nearby road which has closed it down and caused back to back traffic. What should be a 5 minute journey takes me 50 minutes. With every extra minute my blood boils that little bit more.

By the time I get to Baby Girl the calpol has kicked in and she dances over to me like nothing was ever wrong. I'm releived but I could have avoided that x 45 blood pressure raise.

Home to cook dinner. I'm looking forward to whipping up a pork stir fry from scratch. Baby Girl has other plans and decides she's not feeling very well again. 'Cuddles mummy, cuddles. Mummy cuddles, mummy cuddles, mummy cuddes'. I haven't even been able to prep the veggies before I give up on that meal. All she wants is cuddles and if she's not feeling well who am I to deny her of a bit of mummy comfort?

Pork stir fry abandoned. It's fish fingers and peas for all. Cringe. That's fish fingers for dinner twice in a 7 day period. She should be getting fresh home cooked meals from scratch every night, just like my mum did for me.

The living room floor is a hazard of toy traps and there's washing on the coffee table that I haven't folded. Daddy will be home in 20 minutes and the house will be a mess. SIGH.




There is 20 minutes of peace and cuddles and even though I'm cradling a cold ridden child and I keep reminding myself of all the things I am feeling guilty about, its the calmest part of my day so far.

Daddy is home, let's pull out the fish fingers and peas for everyone. Poor guy, should be coming home to a yummy wifey cooked meal. Instead he gets fish fingers and me heading out after bed time leaving him with a date with the couch (OK I don't feel too bad about that part because he secretly loves it!).

Should I stay? I don't know if I should cancel my mummy movie date. How can I go out when Baby Girl is unwell? Hubby assures me all with be OK so I decide to stick with it.

Madness, tidying, bedtimes, good nights, make up retouches and its 9pm and my mummy friend is at the door ready to pick me up.





********


I watched this movie, and it couldn't have come at the end of a more appropriate day. All of a sudden I had a new outlook on the whole day and how I would go into the next.

And you know what? Bad Moms made me realise that there never was such a thing as a Supermum. And even though we're all trying to do a good job, sometimes we fail. It's hard to find the perfect balance of keeping it together and juggling all that we need to. Sometimes we just don't and that's ok. Sometimes we're bad mum's and that's also OK. What matters is that we're all trying our best. And our best is all we can give - nothing more. Even 'that' mum (we all know one) who so graciously keeps it together all of the time, she even has her own struggles. You just don't know about it. It's OK to be honest, and real and share our struggles. We're only human. And if you have a really bad day, just get your girlfriends together, drink lots of wine and unite! 


If this post made you think, please feel free to share it. Let's spread the message, because some days, especially after a bad one - you just need a little reminder.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this....

Kat x

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2 comments

  1. Yes! Great post Kat there are definitely days like this around here. It's all part and parcel of mummy hood I guess. Love your honest take and lighthearted twist. I so need to go see Bad mums!! #keepingitreal !! Xx

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    Replies
    1. It's so true! I like writing these posts. They're my therapy and I find that I need constant reminders! Yes please go and see it. You'll love it x

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