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Open Letter To A Brand New First Time Mum - From A First Time Mum One Year On



Journey To Motherhood
This journey is not going to be easy. This journey is probably not going to be anything like you expect it to be. This is going to be hard work. Like hardest work you have ever done in your whole life. The most challenging and enduring job. But it will be the best and most rewarding job that you could ever have so get ready for the ride.

The Birth
Have your birth plan. Document your wants and wishes and think carefully about them. It will help you be in the right head space. BUT. You'll be one of the lucky few if the birth of your darling goes exactly to plan, so be prepared for that. Remember. The most important thing is that your baby is safely born and you are well. That moment that you see your baby for the first time.... is like nothing that I could ever put in words. That's when you'll know how powerful love really is.

Sleep
Your precious child, in their early days, will sleep a lot. It may not actually feel like that when you are living it because you will probably just want to gaze lovingly at your baby as they are sleeping. But they will. And so should you. Sleep whenever they sleep so you are recharged when they are awake and need you. It's easier said than done but I promise it will make life a lot easier for you. The housework and cooking can wait.

Feeding
Getting into a feeding routine can be hard work. If you are trying to breastfeed, you could experience a range of things that you are not prepared for. Latch issues and tongue tie, cracked nipples, mastitis and thrush to name a few. You may choose to pump. I found this a relentless task. Pumping for 45 minutes and getting 10 mls out of it was soul destroying. Stick to it. The more you pump the easier it gets. If you are bottle feeding, you may encounter allergies to formula, refusing to get back on the breast if you so wish or bad wind which can be very uncomfortable for your little one. In the early days, your baby will do something called cluster feeding where it feels like they literally want to feed all day.  This is simply them growing. Find a good TV series to watch, sit back, relax and enjoy your cuddles while baby feeds. I'm digressing, but the point I'm trying to make is that everyone will face their own challenges during feeding. Feeding is a new skill for your newborn to learn and for you to get used to. Things will get there but it may take time and patience.

Feeling Guilty
You're bound to get a case of the guilts. In fact, you're likely to feel guilty about so much. The reality that every single one of your actions could affect this tiny little human that is yours may get too much sometimes. Don't let it consume you. You are doing a good job. Focus on what you are doing well.

Your Relationship
Your relationship with your partner is going to change. Your life circumstances have basically been thrown into a washing machine and set on high speed shaking everything up. Things could change so much so that your partner may turn into someone very different than who you first met and so may you. It's so important to work together. Support each other and talk through things. Sharing parenting duties is the biggest challenge you will face as a couple. If you can get through the first year and still love each other you have done well! For any ladies who are going on this journey alone, make sure you lean on the people closest to you and accept help. There is a saying. It takes a village to raise a child. Don't take everything on yourself, embrace your village.

Enjoy Every Precious Moment
Time will fly. Life passes us by so quickly. Before you know it your child will be a toddler and you won't be quite sure how you got there. You will never get the new baby stage back. Soak up every moment. Take lots of photos. Document your memories.

Remember, You Are Enough
You are enough. You are completely, utterly and whole heartedly enough. Even if you've had a hard day or night (or the two merged together!). If you feel like you're failing.  Feel like you just don't know what you're doing. Just know this... You are the centre of your baby's universe. You are their whole world. You are their life supply. And you are enough!


Kat x

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18 comments

  1. Beautiful letter, well written with valid points. I can relate.

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    1. Thank you. I just can't believe how quickly a year has passed and how much I have grown x

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  2. I agree with the time flies.... Enjoy every precious moment.... And yes to the relationship put in a washing machine... Learn to work as a team.

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    1. I can just picture each year will fly faster and faster. Yes, I think working as a team is the only way to do it x

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  3. Very true, great post hun I can relate to all of your points. xx

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  4. This is a lovely post. I can relate to them all too. I'm sure we all have ideas of what having a baby will be like before they are born but the reality, as lovely as it is, can be very different! Hx #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. Yep, I don't think anything could ever prepare you for it. I thought by going to NCT classes I would be clued up but boy was I wrong ha x

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  5. I agree. As a first time mom one year on these are things that I have realised. What a lovely useful post #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. I'm glad you agree! This first year has sure been a shock to the system x

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  6. "You are enough" - I couldn't agree more, all our babies really want is mum and dad close to them (until they grow up and want a spaceship and chocolate too!)

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    1. yes definitely the truth for newborns. We're two days after the first birthday and I'm not sure how much longer my totally independent one year old will need me anymore. She literally wants to do everything for herself! X

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  7. I totally agree that it goes so quickly! My boys are two now and it's been the fastest 2 years of my entire life. Someone said to me very recently that the days are long but the years fly by — never a truer word was spoken! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday — hope to see you again next week! x

    Caro | www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

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    1. I would agree with that quote! I'm sure the next year is going to be just around the corner and then before we know it, they'll be adults and we'll be grannies! Scary thought x

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  8. Wonderful words! Specially love that you addressed the big G word. We're gonna feel guilty, it's a case of not letting it consume you. #fromtheheart

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    1. Truth! I must admit, I do find that bit hard but I'm still working on it x

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  9. Such a beautiful post and one which I can totally relate to x #babybrainmonday x

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