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Time For Baby Number Two?

Well well well! Lately I have really been thinking long and hard about this. I always assumed that I would have all my babies close together. In my imaginary world before our first, I wanted 4 babies each a year apart from each other. Crazy right? But that was my family goals.


I was lucky enough to experience my first pregnancy with a close friend. We were so aligned with our pregnancies that our baby girl's were born two days apart. We actually even shared a room in the same hospital ward. It was so nice to experience it together that we vowed we would both do it together again for baby number two.

The plan for J and I was around Baby Girl's first birthday we would start trying again and if we would be so lucky we would have two children two years apart. That plan slowly started to unravel when we experienced severe sleep deprivation and realised that this baby thing is not just cuteness and cuddles. It is hard work. Really hard work. It's not just that either. We love Baby Girl so much, and she's so happy having all of our attention on demand. I feel bad at the thought of her having to share our love. I know our hearts are big enough to love all of our future children in equal measures but right now it feels kind of nice with just the three of us.

So we put our baby #2 plans on hold and decided to keep trying to clock sleep hours in the bank (which is actually proving to be difficult with some awful 1 year sleep regression we are experiencing), providing Baby Girl our undivided attention and create some wonderful memories of us as a three.

That seemed like a great plan and I was happy with it.

Until!

In the last few weeks I feel like there has been so many second baby pregnancy announcements. It started with one of my favourite bloggers, Charlotte from Write Like No One's Watching who is just so over the moon to be pregnant with baby number two it makes my heart melt into tiny pieces. Since then I feel like there have been so many other bloggers and YouTubers that I follow making the exact same announcement. To top it off, my real life friend who I went through pregnancy with me the first time stuck to her plans even if I didn't - and this week she is 13 weeks pregnant. Then today, one of my very best friends in Australia just shared her 12 week scan photo. Broody is an understatement.

I still feel strongly about us not quite being ready for number two, however seeing all these lovely people being so excited about expanding their family has put me in a more positive mindset and rather than an overwhelming fear, I can feel some excitement creeping in.

It also got me thinking. Am I only so unsure because I know what I know? I know exactly how difficult my first pregnancy was from the very beggining. I know how hard it can be having a newborn. I know how bad J and I operate on such little sleep. I worry how we will cope with two. It was hard the first time but we got through it and we have been rewarded with the most perfect baby girl, more perfect than what we could have ever imagined.

Perhaps I should just forget what I know and focus on the true gift of what being blessed with a child really is and also take myself back to my dream of growing old with my big family surrounding me. At the end of the day that's what really matters right? A bit of hard work in the short term isn't.

For those who have expanded their family, did you ever really truly feel ready for number two or were you just as scared as I was to take the plunge?

Kat x

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28 comments

  1. I was exactly the same as you and had promised myself at 12 months old I would try all over again for baby #2! But like you we were loving giving all our attention to Daisy and to be honest I just wasn't in the place to be ready for another, I just didn't want to!! I finally feel like we are! Maybe... Not sure you ever feel 100% ready for #2!!! Xxx

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    1. I'm so glad I'm not the only one! Good luck with your family expansion plans! :) X

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  2. It is so difficult to knw what to do for the best isn't it ? You can only do what is right for you and not worry too much about everyone else. I have 2 1/2 years between my girls which seems to be quite an average age difference, I wasn't getting any younger and was scared to put it off any longer !
    Best wishes for whatever you decide. xx

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    1. 2.5 years feels like a nice age gap. I feel the same way about not getting any younger too, I'm slowly creeping away from early thirties! X

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  3. I'm pregnant with my first (17 weeks). I always thought I would want my babies close together but now because of needing to move house and also severe HG I have changed my mind!! Definitely going to plan a nice gap!

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    1. I think your perspective on life suddenly changes when you get pregnant. Being pregnant and moving house is a big job, hope it all goes well X

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  4. I'm sure many Mums can relate with you on this. Best wishes for whatever you decide.

    Emma x <a href="http://www.emmamatthews.co.uk”>EMMAMATTHEWS.CO.UK</a>

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  5. We were definitely scared to take the plunge. We felt ready but then once we found out we had all sorts of weird emotions. Happiness, sadness, excitement, guilt etc. We all of a sudden realised we wouldn't be a family of 3 anymore. It still worries us now with 3 weeks to go lol! I'm just hoping i've got enough love for 2 babies x

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    1. Of course you will have enough love. You're on the home stretch now. I'm so excited for your birth announcement and to follow your adventures as a family of 4 xx

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  6. Gosh so relate to this - I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for baby no 2...still recovering from no 1 haha! #twinklytuesday

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    1. Ditto! That's why I wonder if we should just take the plunge otherwise we may never! X

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  7. I used to want 2 children but to be honest having 1 has really made me question this. The hard work you put in with one surely gets harder when you have another to look after too. The jury is still out for me on what I want to do about baby number 2 #twinklytuesday

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    1. It's such a hard decision. Good luck with whatever you decide x

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  8. Can totally relate to this. We thought we'd go for number 2 when my daughter was 15 months or so - she's now 18 months and we've decided to delay things so that I can get my teacher training done, but I still get that pang of broodiness when I see pregnancy announcements and newborn babies! My partner is even broodier than me so he's no help! I think it's one of those things that even when you think you're ready, you can never be TOTALLY ready!
    #twinklytuesday

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    1. Haha a broody partner, that's dangerous! You're right, there's nothing wrong with taking some time x

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  9. There is no 'perfect' time to have a second child and no 'perfect' age gap. There's an almost exact 2 year age gap between my first and second, and I have to be honest it was tough. Really tough. As they get older, now 5 and 3 (there is a 1 year old too), it gets easier. But yikes it was full on for a while there. Good luck! #twinklytuesday

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    1. Wow sounds like you have your hands full. I imagine that would be tough. It puts me to shame thinking one is difficult enough x

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  10. I'm not sure I can say I understand the struggle, but I do love how much you love children!

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  11. I'm so with you on all of your fears. We also thought we definitely wanted a second until our first came along and we realised how hard it is. She's ten months now so we're finally getting back our sleep and the thought of going through all of those months again is painful! But people do say it's different with your second and to be honest we were pretty clueless so I do think we pandered a little too much in those first four months! I also understand what you mean about not wanting baby to have to share the love- but there's plenty to go around. I read a great post by Mum Muddling Through on this which really helped put my mind at rest and made me a lot more game for having a second again! Sounds like the time is right for you - I say go for it :) x #twinklytuesday

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    1. I agree, there's lots of things I will do differently the next time around from my previous learnings and I think that will make things easier. Good luck with whatever you decide too x

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  12. Like you, I was worried about how I was going to possibly be able to love another baby when my first already had all of my heart. I didn't want to compromise that love. I actually didn't believe people who said that there are no favourites and that you love them equally. But we had our second when our first was 22 months and the intensity of the love was immediate and magical. Immediately after the birth when I was holding her in my arms, feeling exactly the same love as I have for my first, I cried with relief. Having a baby and a toddler is hard work, but the love. Oh, the love. #fromtheheart

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    1. Awwww you message brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for sharing your lovely story x

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  13. I had my first and second babies 30 seconds apart so have never known what it's like to just love one child! I've — thankfully — had two right from the start!! That said, I would absolutely LOVE another baby but, sadly it's not to be. I think you should go with your gut — I can say, with hand on heart loving two children is easy!! Thanks so much for linking up with us on #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. Haha hats off to you super mum. A family of 4 is perfect and I bet your kiddies are the best of friends. I love twins x

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  14. I have been ready for months! No doubt about it but then not even sleep deprivation can steer me away from the goal of a bi family ;) Thanks for sharing #fromtheheart

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    1. So nice to hear!!! Good luck on expanding your family. I look forward to following x

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