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Sleep

My dear old friend. I haven't seen a good version of you for more than 6 months.

If you ask anyone who really knows me to make a list of things I love, sleep would definitely feature on it. Most likely towards the top of the page. In my past life I slept like a bear. Nothing could wake me. Every morning before work much to J's annoyance, I would have to snooze for an hour so I could really appreciate I was in bed sleeping. That hour of being mostly asleep but awake ever so slightly that I was aware I was resting in my comfy super king was bliss and the only way I could get up on the right side of the bed. It was also not uncommon for me to want to stay in bed until midday on the weekends or take a lovely afternoon nap.

'Enjoy your sleep' they said, 'make the most of it will you can before baby' they said. I thought surely this must be a scare tactic. There must be the term sleep like a baby for a reason? I sleep so instantly and so soundly that surely if things were ever so bad I could catch up on sleep whenever my baby was napping? Surely after the newborn stage of needing to be fed so often baby girl would be sleeping through the night within a few months? Well they were right, and sadly I was wrong.

Baby girl has never been a good sleeper. In fact I have never noticed this so called sleep regression because there was no chance for regression when it was always just bad. I've had a handful of times where she's had 5-6 hour stretches but mostly on our 'good' nights it's up every 3 hours. On bad nights it's up every 1. I can't even tell you how I've been able to cope with this for 6 months. As a mum you just have to get over it and go on. I keep thinking surely we're coming to the end of this? Surely she can't go on much longer? However while some of her little baby friends in her age group have been sleeping through the night from 8 weeks, I guess baby girl just misses her Mummy too much and just can't hold out until the morning for some cuddles.

I've decided that I can't bear to try any kind of controlled crying so I guess I'll just have to keep sailing this no sleep ship until baby girl realises what a good thing she is missing, how great bed is and how valuable a full night sleep is! 'They' also say I will miss those night time cuddles so I will be sure to hold my baby girl tight and cherish them while I can whilst operating in my zombie state during the day and hoping that the sleeping fairies visit our house soon.


K x

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