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The Secret Mummy Society

The Secret Mummy Society. Ask me who they were a year ago and I would have not be able to tell you. Now, I am all over it.

Most non members really don't know the intricate goings on of the society. The members are everywhere. They are walking the streets with their buggies, driving around town in their SUV's, racing through the shops to pick up the next size clothes for their baby (I can't believe they outgrow them every 3 months). They're picking up their groceries for their evening meal, or at the pharmacy getting all their baby essentials. They're taking their babies to their latest baby class. They have their own online community where they connect in masses. Members lunch with the other members of the society. The last point, contrary to many partners beliefs, is not what we do all day - but a girls got to eat OK? - just in time to rush off to make sure bubs gets home in time for their afternoon nap and before they become a screaming monster.

The society is buzzing and pre baby I had no clue how much so. I was the first of my friendship circle to have a baby and had a pretty busy job so I was in my own little bubble and completely oblivious.

I got my first glimpses into the Mummy Society in my last stage of pregnancy. When normally what would be a quick dash to Sainsbury's without barely raising an eyebrow or acknowledging the people around me, turned into a slow journey (ok that might have been because I could no longer walk 2 minutes without needing a rest) where as I was collecting my items I would feel people watching me. Women would stare at my bump, not even being discreet, they would smile at me and give the 'the' look and  to my surprise many would stop and talk to talk to me. I would have about 3 or 4 conversations with total strangers all women - mostly wiser and more experienced members of the society. The conversations would always head in exactly the same direction.

Member: when are you due?
Me: 3 weeks
Member: you look like your nearly ready to pop
Me: I'm ready to get this baby out of me
Member: your first?
Me: yes, a girl (preempting their next question)
Member: awwwww a mummy's little girl

And then it went on. I was loving this new found friendliness from total strangers. But I was tired. I needed to get home!!

Following the birth of baby girl after I had recovered from my c section and was ready to venture out I realised how big these group of women actually were. There were mummy's and babies everywhere. I couldn't take my buggy any where without having to navigate it around another. Some I would do the small talk thing and some just a passing smile. I remember feeling so self conscious. Like the society were watching my every move with baby girl. Judging me for doing something wrong or not being able to soothe her when she was crying. I realise now that was just my paranoia and being hard on myself. I still remember my first baby class. I don't know what I had been expecting but I turned up to this huge group of mummys and babies. They all seemed to know each other and it was like they had all been friends for years. They all knew the words and moves to the songs we sang and I felt like a total outsider.

Then one night when I was trying to google a magic answer to why is my newborn inconsolably screaming at 3am, I discovered the members online. They were everywhere! They had their own online forums, endless blogs, they even had their own mobile apps. I really appreciate that they shared so much information and wisdom. This has definitely helped me with all the questions I had being a first time mum.

Slowly but surely I have started to fit in. I have made some great mummy friends that I can definitely say are going to be friends for life. I actually enjoy taking my baby to classes and although I now feel better for knowing other mums in the classes, most importantly I have learnt that baby girl loves these and it's much more about watching her grow, develop and have a good time - not about me. And I myself have created my own online footprint in the Mummy Society. Mixing and getting tips from other online mummys and imparting my own knowledge or lack therof.

I can happily say I feel part of the Mummy Society and thankful that I have such a big group of people around me to help me with this crazy ride of being a first time mum. If you have just come across my blog. I hope you stick around for the ride. I'll be updating about 3-4 times a week. I'm also on social media and you can link up with me there to keep up to date with my blog postings and what's going on outside that. Come say hi :)

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For anyone who didn't know about this secret. I hope I have given you some insight, and to my fellow members - I hope you have a fantastic Mothers Day on Sunday!

K x

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